I myself wouldn't characterize them as either self-indulgent or necessary. In most cases, it's just a fun thing to do if you have the resources to do it. While most often, they really aren't needed, there are a few cases where they can be useful.
In my opinion, Save the Dates are just optional.; I might consider it if the wedding date is on a holiday weekend like Memorial weekend, Labor Day weekend, 4th of July, Thanksgiving and Christmas since they are major holidays and some guests might have their own plans. When you send save the date cards months ahead, then the guests can keep that in mind when planning for their own vacation.
We think they are necessary only because especially with this economy, you never know anyone's situation, and if you have many out of town guests it gives them a heads up to start saving if they plan on coming. Sometimes getting an invite about 1.5-2 months in advance isn't enough time for families to gather the funds for plane, hotel, car and other added expenses. We think it's more of a courtesy thing.
Save the Date cards are just a great way to announce your event and date. It is a good way to get the date on everyone's radar screens. No, not self-indulgent. Necessary- that is every bride and groom's personal choice.
I think that there are different situations which warrant save-the-dates. We attended a wedding last summer that was in Florida (I'm in Texas) and we rec'd a save-the-date several months in advance. We appreciated it as we had to arrange vacation time off to attend the wedding. I therefore believe that if you are expecting your guests to travel a great distance and plan around your wedding, the bride should definitely send save-the-dates. If everyone is local, they are probably not needed so much but I think they are still appreciated by the guests. It's up to the bride and groom in the end and their personal preference.
I think this is a very courteous thing to do. I don't know how else you would announce it? Gives people time to think, organize their plans, and for brides, give them a chance to figure out their budget and attendance.
I think it's a right thing to do. As always, just MHO.
I do believe that they are something you should do if you can. You can even do something as casual as email these days to the people you most care about. It does give people time to plan expense-wise and time-wise, in these busy lives we all have. Do not feel obligated though!
I don't think they are necessary. they are supposed to be sent out between 6mo-1yr. before the wedding and they just get lost or thrown away anyway. Most people will know you're getting married and a formal invitation 6-8 weeks before the wedding is sufficient. Just a waste of money and stamps!!!!!
I am a retailer with over 20 years of experience doing custom wedding invitations.(www.invitationimagination.com)Years ago,there were no save the dates,only in the last few years have they become so prevalent. They weren't even shown in the twenty or more stationery books in the store.Now,that has changed of course. My feeling is still,it's a way for the vendor and retailer to make money,but there are valid exeptions. For example,if guests are traveling to your wedding from a considerable distance,then it may be wise to include a save the date to your list of items that would be required. If you have a rather extensive two or three days involved,with airlines or hotels that might be overbooked at the time of your wedding,then it would be a good choice. To do a save the date should be made on an individual basis.
I think for out-of-town guests they are a necessary gesture. Also, if you are getting married around a holiday and/or having a destination wedding, they are essential and a great way to let your guests know about your upcoming eventes.
I think they are wonderful for out of town guests, as they have lots of planning and possibly saving to do before the big day. People are using save the dates more because let's face it we are just a busy society--it helps people with planning.