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Pregnant Bridesmaids

I am having a situation where one of my brides is having a predicament with one of her bridesmaids. The bridesmaid is due to have a baby 2 weeks after the bride's wedding. Now my bride is upset and angry. The bride has just gone through the bridesmaids own wedding not even a year ago where she helped her with everything and my bride feels as though she should earn the same respect.

I would love to get opinions on this topic and a discussion going. If anyone has gone through something like this or has opinions, please share!

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Permalink Reply by Gifts and Events-Gloria Dawkins on December 8, 2009 at 5:01pm

I am not understanding why the bride should be upset. Her friend got married a year prior and her husband and herself decided to have a child at this time. Did they have an agreement that her friend would be her bridesmaid and not be pregnant? Even so, she is pregnant and if the bride does not wish to have a pregnant bridesmaid she was allowed enough time to choose someone else.

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Permalink Reply by A Luxe Design Company on December 10, 2009 at 2:49pm

I do believe that is a tad bit disrespectful of the bride, as becoming pregnant is a naturally occurring event in one's life, and one cannot often predict or choose the timing of such an event.

However, as the bride, I can understand her frustration that one of her good friends will not be there to celebrate one of the most exciting times in her life. I would have to take the school-teacher approach if my advice were sought, and let her know just what I said above; however in a more subtle way and ONLY if I was asked.

As the vendor, I would just empathize and butt out because this is one of those situations that has no right answer except for no answer in the eyes of a vendor-client relationship. Again, that is unless I was asked.

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Permalink Reply by Alexandra Roussos on December 10, 2009 at 2:56pm

Thank you, Gloria and Neoteric, for both of your opinions. As the vendor, as well as their friend, I am definitely opting to stay out of this situation. I think although the bride is showing frustration, she is probably more hurt that her friend may not join her in her joyous occassion. I think as the months go on, she will realize that she must enjoy her special time planning her wedding [with me :) ] and just be happy for her friend, as well.

I have heard many stories in the past about arguments between pregnant bridesmaids and brides... but I think we should feel happy for both! They both have special occassions and milestones coming in their lives! Thanks so much for your opinions and inputs!

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Permalink Reply by A Luxe Design Company on December 11, 2009 at 5:11pm

You're welcome! I hope they get past it soon. I had a situation like that as well, it didn't turn out for the better and I'm sure it could have and they'd still be friends and would have had more to celebrate.

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Permalink Reply by Gifts and Events-Gloria Dawkins on December 11, 2009 at 5:41pm

You are most welcome. I hope they work it out...very soon it will be past them and both will be happy for each other. The bridesmaid of course should attend the wedding as a guest so she does not miss sharing this special moment with her friend

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Permalink Reply by Phyllis Cambria on December 23, 2009 at 2:53pm

When I got married my sister-in-law who was my matron of honor was eight and half months pregnant. And that was more than 30 years ago. These days pregnant members of the bridal party are a lot more common. My SIL offered to drop out but I wanted her in my wedding. Our biggest challenge was ordering her bridesmaid gown four months out before we knew how big she would be. Fortunately the gown "just" fit. And today we tease my niece that she was the only one of my nieces and nephews who attended our wedding.

I guess I don't understand why the bride is so upset. Does she think she'll draw focus?

Phyllis Cambria
Miami Wedding Planning Examiner
www.examiner.com/x-27776-Miami-Wedding-Planning-Examiner

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Permalink Reply by Alexandra Roussos on December 23, 2009 at 4:53pm

Hey Phyllis!

Thats a cute story! And thank you for sharing :) The bride is upset because, like you had asked, she thinks she will draw focus... I think now shes starting to get over it. But the bridesmaid found out that her bundle of joy will be a boy! So, yay for us!! :) And the day will be, and should be, a joyous one. Thanks so much for your input!
And great site!

- Alexandra

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Permalink Reply by Phyllis Cambria on December 23, 2009 at 6:21pm

Well, the only time it got REALLY funny was when the bridal party was entering the room and the MC was announcing everyone. Then he said, "And our Maid of Honor Ethel...uh, gee, I hope it's supposed to be our Matron of Honor...."

Everyone laughed and that was it. We tried to camouflage her stomach with a cascade bouquet but when you're that pregnant, NOTHING short of a barrel is going to hide it. LOL But I didn't mind and truly, I didn't get any less attention. So I hope your bride-to-be just enjoys her day and her friend has a beautiful, healthy baby.

Thanks for checking out my column. Glad you like it. Hope you'll subscribe. Who knows, you might find something helpful for your clients. :)

Phyllis Cambria
Miami Wedding Planning Examiner
www.examiner.com/x-27776-Miami-Wedding-Planning-Examiner
WeddingPlansPlus.com