Weddings are like cooking – having wonderful ingredients doesn’t mean you’ll have a great meal

For some reason I think its common knowledge… I mean haven’t we all heard from someone, stories at some point of things that didn’t go right at a wedding. They happen at every single wedding no matter who is in charge. I know brides are working with a budget- especially these days but everyone seems to think they can save on costs by “doing it themselves”. I have an idea… Lets invest in a great photographer to capture the moments and the details, lets hire a floral designer to make everything look pretty, lets spend money on linens, favors, and a dessert bar but when it comes to getting a professional wedding coordinator to pull together all the details I just mentioned so all of them work in harmony.. lets skimp on that? Lets invest all of that but then on the wedding day as a bride you can worry or pawn it off on an aunt, mom, or wedding party member (which lets be quite frank-they will be way more frazzled than you). Just to be clear.. I am not saying I am against DIY. I’m not! I like that style BUT I am a huge advocate of bringing someone on board who knows what they are doing to put things at ease no matter the scale of the wedding.

After being in the wedding industry and planning or attending as many weddings as I have, I’ve seen it first hand time and time again. However, the experience I had several weeks ago at a friend’s wedding was so unbelievable.

I now feel it is my duty to share. She got married at private estate and decided to go with the venue coordinator/catering liaison because they ensured her they would take care of everything she needed on her wedding day. Ummm…, NO! I’m mean I was so upset with the way this catering /venue representative treated the bride and the extreme lack of poise, class, and knowledge that I am going to list for you some specifics of the disaster that ensued:

You may want to hire a wedding planner or else:

1. Your “day of stand in coordinator ” could forget to place an order which then leaves it all in the hands of the bride on the day of her rehearsal so that she and her parents are 30 minutes late.

2. Your “day of stand in coordinator” could decide to make a change on one of your vendor contracts leaving you to pay the difference for their error and then when the vendor calls you the morning of your wedding to tell you and you verify it with your “coordinator” they may say, “you are ruining their day?” Really?? Who says that to a bride?

3. Your “day of stand in coordinator” may forget to send the shuttle to one of the hotels and leave 30 guests behind minutes before your ceremony is about to start. Then when confronted with this situation may say “ I don’t give a f***k. Tell them all to take cabs! I am not starting this ceremony late!” OMG!!!!

4. Your “day of stand in coordinator” may not really know how to run a real ceremony and forget to cue wedding party or heaven forbid the musicians to know when the bride should walk down the aisle! What a disaster that can be as the guests all wait while nothing happens but the same song plays over and over again. Oh also they may forget to remove the ribbon that blocks off the center aisle so guests don’t go through it, but when its time for the ceremony procession to start its wise of them to remove it so that a guest from the second row doesn’t have to run in her heels sinking in the grass all the way to the back of the aisle and remove the ribbon seconds before the wedding party walk through while photo and video are rolling.

5. Your “ day of stand in coordinator” who in this case is also the venue coordinator and caterer- might run out of certain types of food and wine because of poor planning AND not even offer a certain dish that is listed on the menu and just tells guests “ Oh, we don’t have that tonight- I’ll just give you a plate of mashed potatoes and veggies instead”.

Can you believe that these elements really did happen all at one wedding? And these were just the highlights? Do you have any stories of your own?

One piece of advice: You get what you pay for! SO when you don’t pay for a friend who is helping you out as your “day of stand in coordinator” OR you find one that is only a couple hundred dollars…. guess what- it may not be that good of an outcome.


Hollar to all planners who know their stuff. You are fabulous and deserve big props but most importantly you deserve to be paid and respected. You help facilitate one of the most memorable days in a couples’ life.


The Inspired By This blog is the professional wedding industry blog of Los Angeles Wedding Publicist Leila Khalil, owner of Be Inspired PR, a subsidiary of Be Inspired LLC.