Wedding Vows? Not a Big Thing!

In case you are worried about wedding vows writing ( I sure was), let me calm you down. I was able to finish my vow in just a few hours. Follow my writing advice to put your feelings onto paper in a memorable way.

1. Indicate who is the person to you.
2. State what you love about your partner.
3. Use a story as a narrative device.
4. Outline your promises.
5. Personalize your promises.
6. Mention specific details about your future plans.
7. End your vow with a final promise.

That’s it! Simple, isn’t it? Now go ahead and read about what really worreid me several days ago. You'll be surprised how it may be connected to your own wedding ceremeony.

It’s just a marriage, for God’s sake. That’s what I thought until a month ago when I took a walk and ended up a few miles away when the clouds just opened up—I hadn’t realized that it was supposed to rain, and boy, did it rain. Since I didn’t have my umbrella (but did have my computer), I ducked into a restaurant and had some dinner before walking the rest of the way home.

I realize that so far, you’re no doubt riveted by the adventure and saying, “But what comes next, ICN? What comes next?” Well, I’ll tell you. About a mile from home there was a small lake in the road right next to the sidewalk I was on. Cars weren’t even going that fast into it, but they still kicked up a pretty big amount of water. No problem, I could see that there was a clearing in the traffic, so I waited it out. The drivers, seeing me, slowed down and swerved as much as possible to avoid even risking splashing me, which I appreciated. They passed, I ran past the lake, and all was good.

About a block later there was a much smaller (but not insubstantial) puddle, but I figured it was nothing to worry about. It barely made it past the curb and into the street.

As I was walking by, the guy, suspiciously looking like my groom, in a truck in the lane swerved over (he had been in the middle/left side of the lane, and there was no-one in the lane next to him, so there was no reason to do this) and hit the puddle just as I was walking by, then sped off.
I’ll give him credit for having good aim—it was a direct hit, sort of like the wall of water that hits people standing next to a log flume.

My first impulse was to think, “I need to address it in my writing.” (I cover essay topics). Then I thought, no, he is almost certainly an asshole (I would put the odds of his nailing me being an accident at about 2%), but is it a proportional response to say that I hope his car gets seriously misshaped? As viscerally pleasing as it might have been, I just couldn’t justify it. It’s like getting bad service at a restaurant and hoping the server gets fired. Yeah, it sucked that I had to wait for my Coke while she stood there talking to the other servers, but does that merit saying, “Boy, I sure hope she loses her health insurance?”

I settled on hoping that he didn’t see the puddle, took in enough water to almost damage the engine (not bloody likely, as the penis-extender pickup he was driving was too high off the ground) and put the fear of God into him a bit, maybe make him think that he was being punished somehow, or, at the very least, realize that if he hadn’t gone out of his way to be a dick, he wouldn’t have risked hurting his engine.