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Wedding Officiant Answers

The wedding officiant is a professional public speaker that specializes in performing wedding ceremonies. The religious figures of your church (Minister, Priest, Rabbi, etc) also serve as wedding officiants. Many religious figures require that you are a member of their church, and/or complete martial counseling. There are also non-denominational wedding officiants. These individuals can wed all couples regardless of their religious affiliations. For example, the bride could be Catholic, and the groom is divorced and Baptist. Many Catholic churches have issue with the divorce, as well as the different religion. Therefore hiring a professional wedding officiant of non-denomination would be beneficial. Regardless of the type of officiant you choose, they should travel to whatever location you desire your ceremony to take place (additional fees could be added).

Before you start searching for an officiant, sit down as a couple and decide what kind of ceremony you want, as well as the tone or atmosphere you envision. The basic types of ceremonies are: Religious, Semi-Religious, Traditional, Spiritual and Civil. Do you want your wedding very formal, or more relaxed? You can add rituals or ceremony elements to the basic ceremony from family or cultural traditions or regional customs. (Check back for a future blog all about ceremonies) By having an idea of what you want, you will be able to explain to the officiant as well as other vendors what you are looking for!

When choosing who should officiate your wedding, you need to do some research. If you have a venue, ask the venue coordinator for a reference. When booking the photographer, ask for a reference. These professionals that you already have placed your trust in, have worked with many officiants and should be able to supply you with some references. You can also look on the internet. As you scroll though the officiant’s website ask yourself these questions: Is it professional? Is it laid out in a clear manner? Does their personality shine through? The officiant should assist you with writing your ceremony, so this is your first look at their writing style and how they express their thoughts. Find 2-3 officiants you would like to interview. Call the officiants on your list, and ask them if they are available for your date and time. If they are booked, asked them for a referral. If they are available, set a time to meet them as a couple. When you meet the officiants, bring a list of questions. (see blog on Questions to Ask your Officiant) While they are answering your questions notice their demeanor. Are they answering your question? Are they listening to you and your vision of your day? Are they willing and supportive of your thoughts and ideas? Remember you are interviewing them for a job! Do you want to work with this person? And more importantly, will this officiant work FOR YOU? When you have all the information you need, tell the officiant you will get back with them at a specified amount of time (i.e. 2 weeks, or a particular date) and mark it on your calendar. After interviewing the officiants, and deciding on the best fit for you, be professional and courteous and inform all the officiants of your decision. Call your top choice first, to make sure they are still available, than ask for a contract (if you didn’t get one at the time of the interview). When deciding on an officiant, it should be their passion, professionalism, and genuineness that makes you want to hire them, regardless of their fees.

Which brings us to the cost of a professional wedding officiant. Cost varies by location. However the average cost according to The Bridal Association of America is $263. They are factoring in the $100 courthouse style to the $300-500 large weddings! Your officiant should meet with you, receive and return your phone calls and emails, and work with you to create the perfect ceremony. A professional wedding officiant averages ten hours per ceremony. Not only are they spending hours writing, re-writing, searching for the right reading for the ceremony, they are also assisting the rehearsal (many times directing it), traveling to the site, waiting for people to gather, performing the ceremony, allowing the photographs, waiting to sign the marriage license, etc. I have read some blogs of having an uncle or friend go to a website to be “ordained” to legally marry you. Yes, they can sign the marriage license, but can they perform a wedding ceremony? I have never understood the reasoning of some couples that hire professional florists, caterers, photographers, etc – but then want to skimp when it comes to the only professional that HAS to be there! Remember, the ceremony is the most important part of the wedding. This is the personal, emotional, spiritual, binding, and legal part of the wedding. The ceremony is what makes it a wedding and not a party with family and friends. Overall, you want an officiant you feel relaxed, comfortable, and confident with!

Now you have booked your officiant, returned the contract with the retainer. Now you need to set a timeline. If your wedding is a year away, you do not need to work on your ceremony immediately. On average, you should get with your officiant 3-4 months prior to the wedding to start working on your ceremony. In the meantime, watch some YouTube videos and see if anything stands out that you want to discuss with the officiant. You will want to allow time for edits and re-writes. I like to have my ceremonies finalized and approved by the couple at least 2 weeks prior to the wedding. This allows the officiant to practice the ceremony many times to find the right speed, tone, emphasis and pauses to make the ceremony run smoothly. Try to limit last minute changes for that reason. As an officiant, I have made many adjustments at last minute, and can certainly handle a few adjustments. When you choose the right officiant for you – you will be able to work together to make your ceremony everything you envisioned it to be!