Wedding Observations

Here are a few observations that my crew has found that are true with most weddings, no matter where they are held:

1. You will always have some guests that will not dress up. But a ratty baseball cap worn during the ceremony and the reception????

2. Lemon peels do not burn in the votive cups, but rose petals will. Crystal droplets only smother out the flame and yes, wax poured out on table linens really does ruin the linen.

3. The table decorations are not for guests to take unless the bride or groom has made an announcement to the fact. Most centerpieces are rented and must be returned. If you steal them, then the newlyweds have to pay a damage deposit. Please include this amount in the card or gift that you give to the couple.

4. The serving help are not at the wedding to be pinched, prodded, poked, made fun of, or yelled at. They are working hard for a wage and to make sure that the social hour and dinner goes smoothly.

5. DJ's should not give out marriage advice unless they are paid extra to be the couple's counselor in which case they are attending the wrong function.

6. Votive candle holders are not ashtrays and if you throw them across the room - yes, they do break.

7. The bridal party should not drink before the wedding. This is why the ceremony is called a CEREMONY and the reception a party.

8. Chair ties really do not make good head bands -
please refer to item #3.

9. Writing down the bridesmaid's phone number on the white tablecloth is not a good idea -please refer to item #3.

10. Not remembering that the microphone is on and telling your best friend that this wedding was a load of crap probably is not the best way to make friends with your inlaws.