Wedding Advice: Is Your Biological vs. Step Father Walking You Down the Aisle

Recently I had a reader send in a question to me asking if she should have her biological father or her stepfather walk her down the aisle.  This bride to be told me that her mother and bio father divorced back when she was 9 years old.  She said that her mother remarried to a great guy whom raised her since she was 13.  I asked her where was her bio father after the divorce and she told me that he was no where around and had sadly become addicted to substance abuse.

The bride went on to say that her stepfather was a great role model for her as a child growing up.  She indicated that her stepfather sat her and her siblings down as kids and taught them right from wrong.  Taught them how to make good decisions in life.  He even would take them on little outings like riding the subway.  His goal was to teach them how to pay attention, learn how to read a map and to understand directions.  She said that she loved her outings with her step father that she felt that he was not only her “dad” but he was her “father” and she loved him deeply.

So to me, there didn’t appear to be a dilemma until I continued reading.  About 3 years ago, her biological father started coming around and sincerely wanted to rekindle the relationship between him and his daughter.  He was completely sober and the two of them had been spending time to get to know each other again. They went out on lunch and dinner dates and she was extremely happy to have her biological father back in her life.

Over Thanksgiving, her boyfriend of 5 years proposed. Of course she said yes!  But now is stuck with a dilemma on who should walk her down the aisle.  Should she have her stepfather or her biological father walk her down the aisle?

I am a huge proponent of following the path with the least resistance in every aspect of life and do everything possible to keep peace all around.  While it is a tough decision that she needs to make, ultimately it would appear that both fathers love her.  So I advised her to consider allowing both fathers to walk her down the aisle. I suggested that she has open communication with both fathers and discuss her reasons for wanting each to walk her down the aisle.  Hopefully both fathers will be mature enough to listen to her feelings and understand that it’s a difficult decision for any daughter.  I am wishing the very best outcome for her wedding.

I am curious if my readers are experiencing this same dilemma or something similar?  If so, please let me know and contact me at Kishana@kishanahighgate.com or visit my website at www.kishanahighgate.com.