Too Many Wedding To-Do's: Selecting Your Wedding Peeps

In this mini-series called “Too Many Wedding To-Do’s”, I will outline a bit about each step in the Wedding To-Do List.

Step #6: Choose your wedding party and confirm the participants.

This was one of the most fun parts of early wedding planning for me – I really loved getting to share my joy with other people.  There are so many cute cards out there and other ideas to send once you made your big decision.

For many people the decision of WHO you will bestow the honour of Maid/Matron of Honour or Bridesmaid to is a very simple one.  For others, not so much.  My personal experience was that I knew I wanted my younger sister to be my Maid of Honour.  I also have a very small group of close female friends so they were my beautiful bridesmaids and then my husband’s younger sister (12 years younger) was a junior bridesmaid.  Given the number of guests we were expecting (around 80), this was just the right number.

Now there tends to be some “rules” out there that dictate how many attendants you should/shouldn’t have. Really it boils down to personal preference as well as any limitations you must work within (ie. small venue=small wedding party since you can only fit so many people up at the altar!).  Just in case you’re wondering, here’s a breakdown of some of the factors worth keeping in mind…

Formality:  Typically more formal weddings upwards of 150-200 people boast larger bridal parts of 6-10 attendants on both the bride and groom’s sides.  This leads to the rule of thumb that says you should have approximately one attendant for every 25 guests or so.

Tasks: If you’re the type of bride who wants to have control over every aspect, then perhaps a large bridal party is not for you.  After all, the purpose for having attendants is twofold – to have those important in your life stand beside you on your Big Day, and also to get some much-needed help with organizing various aspects of the wedding.  Bridesmaids (usually) want to help, and if there’s nothing you’re willing to let them help with, they may feel unwanted.

Financial Responsibility: Often being an attendant in a wedding can be a costly responsibility.  While it is considered an honour, that honour comes with a price tag that usually starts at $300.  Purchasing a dress, participating in or hosting the engagement party, bridal shower, or bachelorette party all cost money.  And those are just the basics.  Some guys and gals don’t have the financial means to participate and this may be something to discuss with them beforehand.

Support!: Remember that the people you choose should be supportive, responsible, and able to get along.  Not only are they there to keep you calm during the rocky times of planning the wedding, they should be responsible enough to be trusted with completing wedding tasks, being at appointments on time, and keep things running smoothly on the Big Day. They should also be able to get along with one another and work together to make your time as a bride the best it can be.  Squabbling between each other is generally frowned upon – so consider this when selecting the gals you’d like to have.

Anyways, despite everything you really need to feel comfortable with the girls you’ve selected.  They should be people that you trust and hold in high regard – and hopefully they feel the same for you.  And if that’s not the case, you can always put them in ugly bridesmaids dresses and take lots of pictures!

This is always an option

 

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