the wedding crasher (post wedding depression)

Nowhere near as fun as Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughan crashing your reception is a nasty case of Post-Wedding Depression that can affect brides after their big day.

There are numerous reasons why a bride or groom might fall crash after their big day.

The Wedding Dump

As I have affectionately named it due to its similarity to the post-superman ride at Movie World feeling. Just like a scary rollercoaster the months and days leading up to your wedding are all go, go, go! Hair, makeup ,dresses, presents, compliments, meetings, shopping it’s a whirlwind of activity and attentioned focused on your and your partner. So much energy is put onto this one day that afterwards, just like the rollercoaster, the arrival back to normal life can be a bit of a let-down.

All good things come to an end

All things going right with your wedding and reception mean that you and your partner have had an amazing night. A night you will never forget. I liken this one to the end of school camp. You’ve had such an amazing time that it can be hard to let go. I can remember one school camp where I cried for nearly an hour after it was over. I think there was a few “it’s not fair” and stamping of feet as well.

Honeymoon is over, baby.

A word of the wise from Tex Perkins. Some brides and grooms spend so much time and energy planning the perfect day they forget to spend time and energy on perfecting their relationship. Communication, respect and love are all thrown out the window in place of arugements over seating arrangements, bestman antics and matching napkins.

Where’s the fairytale?

Ask any Bride or Groom whether married life was anything close to what they imagine and be amazed by the answer. You may be expecting the “happily ever after” but that comes with bills, babies and blow-ups. If you’ve never lived together you will learn things about your now husband/wife that may horrify you. Did you know they were the type to leave a dirty-towel in the middle of the bathroom floor?… burper? … or my favourite a secret couch nudist prefering to spend Saturdays on the couch in nothing but what the good lord gave them?

Beating the Blues

In order to fix a problem, you have to recognise the problem. Beyond blue- the national depression initiative have a survey here that can help you identify if you are suffering from depression or anxiety. Once you’ve identified that the uncontrollable crying, over-eating or compulsive shopping might be an indication of something more, you are already on your way to healing.

Honeymooning is good for you

Honeymoon if you can, if only to get a way for a while. Taking a break is a fantastic not just to celebrate your marriage, but also to take a breather from the mad house that has been your life for the past 6 – 12 months. Even if you can only afford a few days offs – do it.

Be Realistic

Give yourself time to get used to being married. Any major life adjustment is like trying on a new pair of shoes -they might be a little uncomfortable at first but wear them in for a bit and suddenly you have a new favourite. Throughout the wedding organising and planning bring yourself back to the simple truths about why you are getting married in the first place -because you love your partner and you want to build a life together.. the more upfront you are about your married life, and the expectations you have the easier the transition will be.

Talk about it

Don’t keep your feelings to yourself. If you are feeling low then tell your partner about it. You choose to spend the rest of your life with this person because they get you, the love you and you can tell them anything. So tell them if you are “crashing” – they will want to help. If they can’t help, they will want to make sure you are then in touch with someone who can.

There is always something going on when organising a wedding, and afterwards when the rose petals are swept up and the cake has been eaten life can feel a little empty – if you let it. However, if you are honest with yourself, and with your partner, you have a wonderful future full of exciting times to look forward to.