In the grand scheme of things where does the planning of your Wedding Ceremony come in? There are so many details that go into wedding planning that it’s difficult to know where to focus your time and energy and money.
Did you know that the cost for your ceremony is only 2 - 3% of your overall budget? Yet without it, there really wouldn’t be a wedding, certainly not a marriage.
Let’s take a look at the wedding ceremony and how much attention it deserves in the planning process.
Over the years and the scores of couples I have helped with their planning, the wedding ceremony has evolved. Not only in its structure but in the couple’s involvement. Gone are the days when a bride and groom simply did what the clergy told them to say or do. Civil ceremonies were often basic quickies with no personal touches whatsoever.
Couples were limited to where they could be married and the amount of input they could do to make it their own.
How many times in the past have we attended weddings in which the ceremony was just the same words we have heard over and over?
Sometimes, it could be that the couple took the easy way and did what they were familiar with or had seen elsewhere … see above. Or they were confused by the rituals and beliefs they had and not sure where to begin.
There tends to be 3 trains of thought that couples come to me with regarding their wedding ceremony.
Which category or approach best describes you and your partner?
I know there is a lot on the to-list that’s demanding your attention. And it’s easy to become overwhelmed by all the decisions that need to be made. As a result, the planning of your wedding ceremony tends to go the bottom of the priority list and doesn’t get the attention it deserves.
I want you to take the time now to think about making your wedding ceremony the most important part of your wedding day. It’s not too late even if you have already got a lot of your planning done.
It’s important to remember here that your ceremony should not just happen but something that you both are totally involved in. You need to be aware of what you’re saying, doing and committing to.
Not so long ago I attended a wedding where the bride looked totally shocked by the words of her vows. It was obvious she had not gone over them with the minister beforehand. You don't want to be her!
It should be the two of you that set the tone, the style and format because it is your ceremony. You need to be comfortable with it and be comforted by it.
Giving your wedding ceremony the attention it deserves, starts with the question: where will we hold it? Here the list can be endless depending on the time of year, parental input, religious circumstances, what you want, among other considerations.
Locations like:
Now you have thought of a location, you need to have an officiant. The person that is responsible for legally marrying you must be certified to do so by the authorities in your area. Make sure to check with your local government to find out who is available to do that in the location you desire.
It would be devastating to choose a lovely venue and not be able to find an officiant who can perform the ceremony. This is why it’s so important to work out the details of your wedding ceremony before anything else.
Other personal touches like the wording of your vows, the décor, the music are all things that you can work on together to make your ceremony uniquely yours.
Your wedding ceremony is the legal part and the part that makes all this official. But it's also the most emotional part. It sets the overall feeling you want your guests to experience and share with you.
It’s the moment you become legal partners in love and the moment you will always remember.
You can’t really have a wedding without a wedding ceremony. There are some couples that understand that the wedding ceremony is a key part of the wedding day, while others look at it as a formality that they need to rush through so they can get to the partying.
Making your wedding ceremony a priority in your wedding planning will make sure you are in the first group. This won’t be the only party you will celebrate together but it will be the only wedding ceremony (unless you renew your vows) but that’s another story.
I am encouraging you to stop, think about what is important, and most of all, what will feel important in years to come.
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