More Infrequently Asked Questions

More answers from Jezebelle, our wedding advice guru from the book "Knot So Funny", available for $2.99 as an ebook at amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com. $2.99 is way less than that tattoo you are considering and the book is much easier to delete if you don't like it.

•  Hey, Jezebelle, I am about to become a bride for the fourth time. How should I word my wedding invitations?

 I will assume you used the phrase “third time is a charm” on the last invitation. I would suggest something in the style of those little leaflets they pass out on the Las Vegas strip.

•  Hey, Jezebelle, we received numerous gifts of cash at our wedding. Is it appropriate to tell people how the money was used in our thank you notes?

 Absolutely. Say it something like this: “We so appreciate your wedding gift of $500. Doug was able to get some really top-grade heroin and it made the honeymoon go smoothly”.

•  Hey, Jezebelle, my brother is the “black sheep” of the family. Do I have to invite him to our wedding?

 In my family, I am the black sheep. We also have a couple of purple sheep, an orange sheep and a chartreuse sheep. Plus an uncle who makes sheep nervous when he is around. The point is: diversity can be a good thing and provide for some flavor at your wedding.