Marriage Details: 4 Important Aspects Most Couples Ignore

That first step toward abiding love begins with the chemical love phase. That is where all of your hormones are concentrating on the stimulating aspects of intimate love to the point it has the effect of a drug on your brain. Then, the deeper stages of love begin to develop. This is where you can plan together for a future setting real and attainable goals. However, here are four things many married couples ignore.

Communication is Key

This is probably number one on the list of things that couples often ignore. Asking your spouse how his or her day was is a start, but communication goes far deeper than that. It includes the type of conversations you had when you first met. The talks about the crazy dreams, even the ones to live on a tropical island or invent the next Pet Rock and become millionaires. It also includes being able to talk calmly and rationally about real problems, such as making a plan to minimize credit card debt or working overtime to afford a down payment on a mortgage. You need the balance of conversation to be a mix of future dreams and present reality.

Finance Ideas

Money is the number one source of arguments among the married. Frustration can trigger longstanding disagreements over how money should be earned and spent. Unfortunately, the skills needed for financial well being is one of the things that is sorely lacking in the educational system. So, your individual ideas about money can vary greatly between the two of you. Another unfortunate point is that when you are having those tropical island dream conversation along with the more serious ones about owning a home or having children, you are likely to not discuss your own individual ideas on how you will finance them. If you have not done it before, you do need to talk about your own habits—good or bad—for earning, saving and spending to work out a financial plan for your marriage you both can live with.

Moving

This can be a big one, and it takes the two of you to be on board with it. Some companies, like Bekins Van lines Inc., know that moving into a new home often involves moving far outside of your comfort zone. Many new couples settle close to friends, family and other familiar support structures. You get married, but you still have the same grocery store, the same bank, the same neighbors and the same friends. Moving can suddenly put you both into a part of that tropical island dream where you are in a new place but without all the familiar things you had around you growing up. Plus, the excitement of the new adventure can easily cause you to make a mistake in choosing your first new home. You do need to have a plan before you commit to a mortgage. Think about education, careers, babies, pets and selling the house before you move. There is nothing wrong with a starter home, but it needs to fit your family dynamic and your future plans.

Commitment

You probably heard of marriage being 50/50 where you both do your part to make it 100 percent. However, the reality is that marriage requires a 100 percent commitment from each of you. The number one reason Dr. William H. Doherty noted for divorce was lack of commitment. Of divorced people who were surveyed, 73 percent said that lack of commitment was the reason behind the divorce, and, unfortunately, the divorce rate in America runs as high as 50 percent. You are a team through the good, the bad and the ugly for life. The reason traditional marriage vows include the richer or poorer, and sickness and health words is because that is what happens in life together. There are tough decisions, tragedies, illnesses, financial worries and more that come, but you must be committed to facing them together.

Your marriage will be what you make it. If you leave it up to how the stream of life flows, you may find your relationship being swept into the rapids that you cannot recover from. Marriage is being in the same boat together, and both of you need to be manning and coordinating the oars to get to where you want your marriage boat to take you. Your own version of that tropical island is possible, if you both work together to steer your boat toward it.