Love and marriage – Are you ready to take the next step in your relationship?

If we were to listen to pop culture wisdom, love is all you need to build a happy and healthy relationship. That is partly true because love is indeed the foundation on which you cultivate long-lasting relationships. However, as important as romance might be, it’s not the only ingredient you need to make things work. And it’s definitely not enough to sustain a marriage. 

The way love is depicted in music and rom-com movies can be really deceptive. The recipe is always the same: couples magically fall in love at first sight or through a series of unexpected circumstances, experience intense, over-the-top romantic moments as the relationship progresses, and then end up marrying and living happily ever after. But there’s so much more to life than that, and the road to the aisle – as well as what happens afterwards, when the excitement of the celebration fades away – looks completely different in reality.

Real-life relationships require trust, commitment, devotion, sacrifice and plenty of work to ensure a safe and stable future for both partners. It’s not going to be all rainbows and butterflies like we’re made to believe. So, if you think you’ve found the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you’re now pondering the idea of getting married as the next logical step in your relationship, you should make sure both of you are ready to embark on this lifelong journey. After all, this is one of the most important decisions you will ever make, so you have to be sure you’re doing the right thing. 

While you may not be able to gaze into a crystal ball to find your path, there are a few signs that can tell you if you’re ready for marriage or not and thus point you in the right direction. 

You know yourself (and your partner) well 

Although most people generally get married in their 20s or 30s, there’s no such thing as the perfect age for getting married. Some people reach this point earlier in life, while others take more time to find the one and tie the knot. But even though biological age is not necessarily a determining factor for marriage readiness, emotional maturity does play an important role in the equation. 

Emotional maturity refers to a person’s ability to understand and manage their emotions and deal with the realities of life in an adequate and constructive manner. Being emotionally mature enables you to know yourself, with all your qualities and flaws, take responsibility for your actions, and figure out what you truly need and want in life. It also means you understand those around you better and can set realistic expectations. Therefore, maturity is needed to develop a realistic perspective of what it takes to sustain a relationship. 

You both want to get married

If you want to find out if you’re ready to get married, ask yourself a simple question: do you want to get married? As absurd as this may sound, the idea of getting married might not be your own, or the reasons for taking this step are not viable. 

A lot of people get married not because it makes sense for them but because they’ve reached a certain age, and according to society’s standards, that’s what they’re supposed to do. Others do it because family, friends, or partners pressure them. A marriage that is based on what others want and need is bound to fail sooner or later, so make sure this is what you truly want. 

You’re able to work through your problems 

You’ve probably been with your partner for a while, and that means you’ve had your fair share of ups and downs. So, if you want to anticipate how your marriage might evolve, you can take a look back at how you’ve handled difficult moments in your relationship. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. You don’t go into it thinking that if things get a bit rough, you can simply divorce and start over with someone else. It’s a conscious decision you make to stay by each other’s side through good times and bad times. Both of you will change and evolve as time goes by, and many things will change around you, so you’re certainly going to experience a lot of challenges in the years to come.  

If you’ve been strong and wise enough to work through your problems so far, be it on your own or by reaching out to a professional relationship counsellor, you have better chances of managing your problems effectively and overcoming the obstacles that may come your way. And that’s the recipe for a strong and long-lasting marriage. 

You have similar interests and goals 

Marriage is not about two people becoming one, as many romantics tend to believe. You don’t lose your individuality once you say yes, nor should you give up on your personal interests and hobbies in order to become a reflection of your partner. But it does help to have shared values and a similar vision for the future.  

If your goals and plans don’t align, it’s going to be next to impossible to walk on the same path together. before making a life-changing decision like getting married, you need to consider the things that bring you together and the ones that set you apart and see which way the balance tilts. 

You’ve reached financial independence 

It’s nice to feel butterflies and all the swoony sensations that you experience when you’re in love with someone, but the harsh truth is that those fleeting feelings won’t help you deal with the realities of married life. And a good part of these realities has to do with finances. In order to build a solid marriage, you need to be financially independent. 

It’s not just the cost of getting married that you need to take into account, but also how you’re going to sustain yourselves from that point on. Do you and your partner have stable careers and incomes that allow you to transition from single to married life and build a family together? The answer to this question can help you assess your financial situation and your marriage readiness.