Keeping your marriage healthy and alive! - Part II "The Married Life"

When we meet someone who we may later marry, we seem to love everything about them. We hang on to their every word and discuss the things that matter in their lives. We show them support for their passions.

As time goes by and we settle into the everyday routine and the “Newness” of our relationship wares off, we begin to see the habits and routines that maybe a sticking point for us.

If your spouse was a jazz musician when you met them and this is something that they are truly passionate about, guess what? They are not going to suddenly stop playing and pursuing their passion, and if you force them to, they will most likely resent you for it. By the same token you may find yourself becoming resentful of the amount of time, money and energy that your spouse puts into their pastime/passion. You may feel jealous and left out of this very important part of their life.

Here is an important tip. Make an honest effort to be involved. Go to a practice session, meet the folks they work/play with, help with fund raising, and attend some games /shows. If you make a real effort to show your spouse some interest in what they do, how they do it and be a part of that world, it will help put your insecurities in the back seat. Plus you never know you may just enjoy your spouse’s pastime a lot more than you thought you would!

One other thing. Don’t just completely lose yourself in your spouse’s passion, nurture your own existing pastimes or find your own. Remember when you each have your own outlets it helps to keep you sane, feeling like a complete person and helps give you purpose.

Donna Nash-Scott – BGN LLC

http://www.bridegroomnotary.com
April 2010