Keeping your marriage healthy and alive! - Part I "The Married Life"

So many cultures, so many ideals, so many schools of thought. Most men have their ideas of what marriage should be, as do we women. When dissected it all comes down to very simple basics of how to create and maintain a healthy and happy marriage. Although we all may come from different backgrounds, cultures and religions there still remains a certain “recipe.” The basics have to be in place and followed by both husband and wife to reach this goal.

Do you remember the feeling you had on that day? The day you stood together and made a vow to be faithful, loving and true. Do you remember the vigor with which you made those promises? The same sense of pride, determination and willingness you felt then, is the same you should have 2, 15, 25 50 years down the line.

Your Goals : Some couples fall into the daily routine of work, school, child rearing, chores and so forth and forget the things that made them a couple to begin with. Do you remember what you are working for? When you plan your future together, you reach for certain goals, the new house, cars, and vacations each year. As time goes on some of these goals may change due to finances, births or deaths. You may decide to change careers or go back to school. Whatever the reason for the change in plans, it is vital to discuss it, be sure that your spouse in on board or at least make compromises as to the change in your life’s direction. Your life is not just your own anymore, it completely affects your wife/husband and how they live theirs as well. If you have children, think of how your changes affect them, they are along as active members of this trip and should not be thought of as tagalongs who just have to go with the flow. Their reaction to the changes you make in your life will affect them directly in some shape, form or fashion.

Make sure to include your spouse in the needs or want of your change. Discuss this with them, include them in the thought process of how, when and how to make the changes that you want or need. In doing so you make them feel useful, included, respected. Since whatever changes you make will affect them; they will be more likely to be supportive and not made to feel resentful of you. As I mentioned before if you have children, try to find ways to make them an active part of the process, depending on the age/s decide at what part of the process to bring them in. Just remember don’t wait till the train is leaving the station to tell them to hop on.

Donna Nash-Scott – BGN LLC
April 2010

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