Jewish Wedding Ceremonies and Traditions

It’s a great big, diverse world!! I love learning about the different ways that couples exchange their marriage vows. Today I want to share some of what I’ve learned about the religious customs and traditions of Jewish weddings.

Judaism is divided into three basic groups; Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform. The ceremony differs when customs are from an Eastern European or Middle Eastern background, and the type of Judaism that is practiced. With all the differences, Jewish weddings have much in common. All three groups have ceremonies at the synagogue before the wedding day.

Orthodox and Conservative Jews have the groom read from the Torah the Sabbath before the wedding. In some synagogues, when he is finished, the women in the congregation throw candy and nuts at him as a wish for a sweet and fertile life. A conservative woman can join her groom and possibly read if she knows Hebrew. Reform Rabbis may invite the couple to temple the Friday evening before the ceremony for a blessing before the congregation.

A Jewish wedding can take place any time other than during the Sabbath, during Passover, and other religious holidays. Because a Hebrew calendar is different from a lunar calendar, couples need to confirm the date with the Rabbi early in the planning process.

A Ketuba (ke-too-va) is an important part of any Jewish marriage. Written in Aramaic, it is the marriage contract, outlining the groom’s responsibilities. Orthodox Jews have the groom and two other unrelated Jewish males sign the document. The Orthodox bride never signs. Conservative Jews allow the bride to sign. Reform Jews use a less formal marriage certificate that is signed by the witnesses, not the couple.

The Ketuba is usually read during the ceremony and presented by the groom to the bride. I have seen some really beautiful Ketubas created by local artists that are then displayed as a work of art in the home.

In Jewish tradition, the groom presents the bride with an article of value. In the past, it was a coin, but today it’s a ring. The ring must be solid gold, with no stones or gems (to influence the bride by the groom’s wealth) and it must be the grooms’ property. Because diamond wedding sets are so popular today, often a couple needs to borrow a family ring for the ceremony. The groom will “buy” the ring before the ceremony (usually for a dollar) and then “sell” it back after the wedding.

In an Orthodox ceremony, the ring is placed on the brides’ right index finger, as far as the second knuckle. This finger is chosen because it’s thought to lead directly to the soul. Later, she will change it to her left ring finger.

The Jewish wedding ceremony takes place under a chuppah (Hoo-pa) or canopy. The chuppah symbolizes the roof of the new home the couple will establish. The couples’ parents stand at the chuppahs edge, symbolizing the walls supporting the new home.

One custom that I particularly like is at the end of the ceremony. The couple exit up the aisle and into a yichud. The yichud is a time of privacy before the couple greets their guests. If they have been fasting, they can have a bite to eat and enjoy a few moments alone in seclusion. The wedding day is usually so hectic and emotionally charged, even non-Jewish couples might want to borrow this tradition for their own wedding. Because of the yichud, Jewish weddings usually don’t have a receiving line, an idea that many non-Jewish couples also embrace.

If you are attending a Jewish wedding, be aware that even non-Jewish male guests are expected to wear a yarmulke (YA-ma-ka) as a sign of respect.

Your knowledgeable Bridal Consultant will have an understanding of the various traditions and will help the day so smoothly for you.