"Is it really YOUR wedding day?"

We have all seen or heard about it. The wedding that got out of control, when it came down to the planning. Television producers crave the footage of it and brides and grooms; fear it!

So, you’ve told the family about your engagement and the real work is about to begin. Along with the work comes the headache. Most of us know all to well the relative/friend who just has to have their opinion not just heard, but made a part of your wedding plans. The mother who is overzealous. The Aunt who won’t let you get a word in edge wise. This can be so very trying and exhausting for a bride and groom, when they have to try to walk the fine line between being firm and seeming rude.
The hardest part is, some times all the ideas that are being thrown at you, may be great ones or have elements that you like! How are you to choose? How do you tell someone you want to do it your way?” How do you not come off as a raving, selfish brat? Well here is how I recommend to our clients to get the mayhem under control, with out tearing down too many fences; or at least not causing too many hurt feelings.

Allow your Planner to step in and be the powerhouse, act as a buffer. Depending on what services you’ve chosen, your Planner is there to set the laws and police the budget which usually gets out of control when other people start to add things that they want for your wedding. Planners have learned how to be tactful when vetoing ideas that may or may not be in line with what their client wants or needs. They are also not the ones who have to sit down at the dinner table next Thanksgiving with an angry mother, so it’s easier for them to speak up. So ask your Planner for some help, I’m pretty sure they would be to willing to help keep the peace and your sanity.

If you do choose to speak up for your self, just remember that the wedding is only for a day. Your relationships with family and friends are for life. Be careful not to discuss the plans and what you want for your wedding at a time when tempers are short. Allow time for a cool down for yourself and the others involved. Keep in mind that family members want to be involved, so try to have an alternative way in which they can take part in the big day, without them making it their big day. Maybe your mothers/fathers can hold the Unity candles/vases. They could deliver a Blessing during the ceremony. They can be presented with a rose or other type of gift, or a speech during the ceremony as a thank you for having raised you as they did to get to this point in life.

All in all, try to remember this is your day and you should enjoy it as such. However try to keep the feelings of those closest to you in mind. Simple things can be done to avoid the crazy relative/friend drama that plagues so many couples and allow everyone to enjoy the day and the memories!

Wedding Day Saves- by Donna Nash-Scott

A Bride, A Groom, A Notary LLC