Confessions of an Army Wife

There is hardly any lifestyle I can think of that is more difficult and rewarding than the life of a military wife- especially when you’re married to an active duty soldier. So many people tell me that they don’t know how I do it, that they could never do it, or that they would never let their husband do it. While the intention behind these statements is good, I find that if everyone thought a little deeper, they would realize they are wrong.
Don’t think I’m trying to say that this is easier than everyone thinks it is- because it definitely is not. My husband is deployed right now, and it has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I can’t fall asleep next to him at night. He’s not here to comfort me after a really awful day. I have to deal with EVERYTHING by myself- cars breaking down, companies getting bills wrong every freaking month, school, debt, etc. on top of having to deal with the constant pain of his absence. I have to function each day with a constant emptiness. And, not to mention, I haven’t been laid in over 7 months! You don’t HAVE to be a strong person to live this life, but boy, do you learn to be!
When you marry into the military, you have to be willing to let “The Man” determine basically everything about your life. Where you live, how long you live there, whether you can leave for a weekend getaway or not, maybe even when you get married- if your situation ends up being anything like mine. Your future is in the hands of the army, and you don’t have a lot of say in it.
But, here’s the thing- no matter how sad you get, or how lonely you are, or how severely difficult dealing with the military can be… If you love someone, you know you will do anything for them- including waiting for them. So really, anyone who loves their husband enough really WOULD be able to do this. In fact, you can ask any military wife and they will tell you that you grow closer to your spouse on a much deeper and more meaningful level than any other couple could. Something about going through such a difficult trial really brings you together.
I promise you that, unless there are other issues involved, a deployment WILL make your marriage stronger and more incredible. The marriages that fail during a deployment would have eventually done so anyway- with or without the deployment/separation. It sounds harsh, but I guarantee that if you TRULY love your spouse, and the only big problem in your marriage is the temporary distance, this doesn’t get in the way of being with the one you love. You sincerely learn to how get through it, even if you think you can’t. Your love for them is stronger than the hurt you feel when they’re gone. You really do become a much stronger person in the meantime!
Plus, when they’re gone, you never get sick of being with them or annoyed with them being around all the time. You learn to never take
time with them for granted. The “honeymoon phase” lasts a lot longer, and the reunions are beautiful. And, you will not find a better support system than the other women who are going through the deployment with you. I have rarely made stronger friendships than the ones I have with the other army wives.

The main point I’m trying to get at is that, despite the hard days that you are guaranteed to have, the amount of pain that comes from missing your loved one, and the hundreds of days you have to fall asleep alone, being married to a soldier is incredibly rewarding. While it isn’t the life I saw myself living, I can honestly say it is worth every moment.

Guest Blogger:Sairah Haight