Children At Weddings

There are so many tricky decisions to be made when planning your wedding, and the guest list can be one of the biggest headaches. Apart from deciding how many old friends or distant relatives to invite, there will be the inevitable decision whether to include children on the invitations.

For some it’s a no brainer – couples with their own children are often at a stage in their lives when they feel they simply can’t, or don’t want to, exclude children from the celebrations. For others there may be budgetary considerations which make a child free day a more practical proposition.

Many parents are are delighted to receive an invitation for any chance to get dressed up and have a day out, and really don’t mind if children aren't invited - in fact, they may relish the time to have a “grown-up” party, and if an overnight stay and a lie in are also possible, the prospect becomes more and more attractive. However, make sure you decide early on in your preparations if children aren't invited so that parents have time to arrange childcare. Ensure that your invitations are clearly worded to avoid any confusion, and treat all guests the same by not allowing some guests to bring their families and not others (unless, of course,  they are small flower girls and page boys who can buck the “no children” rule).

However, if you are planning to invite children to the day here are a few do’s and don’ts to make sure that the day is a great one for guests of all ages:

• Don’t think that your planning for child guests stops at the invitation – there are lots of things to think about in relation to little guests

• Do encourage your ushers to seat those with young children at the end of rows, “in case they need to step outside during the ceremony”!

• Do pop a little treat in with the orders of services for young children during the ceremony– this could be a box of raisins and a small party bag game to keep them amused

• Do consider at which age a child becomes an adult in your venue’s eyes. This is typically at 12 years of age, after which they will be charged at adult prices

• Do think about providing some entertainment during the drinks reception, particularly if it will be held indoors. A balloon modeller or close up magician works well and both children and adults love them

• Do consider hiring outside games, such as Jenga, Connect 4 or a limbo pole – but do check with your venue first

• Don’t hire a bouncy castle and leave it unattended. They easily become overloaded (with children and adults who should know better) and can be accidents waiting to happen

• Do consider whether your venue is hazard free and warn parents (on invitations and on the day) if there are potential dangers like open water which mean they should be extra vigilant

• Do arrange a child friendly menu (and don’t forget those aged from 12 months to two years, who are no longer eating “baby food” but often get left off catering lists). This doesn’t have to be nuggets and chips, but perhaps a simpler version of what you are serving to adults, or a table of simple picnic food

• Don’t forget older children as well – they may prefer to have their own table separate from the adults
• Do ensure there are enough high chairs and that the venue are aware of where they are to be placed
• Do provide some distraction for children during the meal – this can be as simple as a colouring book and some pencils or you could push the boat out with a full-on goody bag. There are lots of free printables on the web, including this customisable colouring book from Lovely Indeed

• Don’t invite children for part of the celebration only unless you provide an evening babysitting or crèche service – it just means parents will leave early too

• Do investigate whether your venue offers on site babysitting for guests
• Do have a first aid kit on site which includes plasters, antiseptic, Calpol, bite cream, and in the summer a high factor children’s sun cream

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There are many ways that you can keep your smaller guests amused, and they don’t need to cost a fortune. If you’re looking for some ideas, how about:

• using a bubble machine during an outside drinks reception. Sometimes the simple things keep them amused for longest

• setting up a play tent at the corner of the room and filling it with (quiet!) board games and dressing up clothes, or laying a table with craft activities such as crown making or making masks out of paper plates

• playdough or fimo clay to keep hands very busy and minds occupied
• lego which is another winner, but keep it relatively simple and age appropriate

• providing children with a disposable camera and a list of shots for them to take – couple this up with a small photo album for them to decorate during the speeches

• consider staging their own “first dance” just after yours – it will lead to some adorable pictures!
• think about using a separate room for a late night video screening for older children, complete with popcorn

Generally you find that occupied children are happy children and happy children make happy parents, so make sure that you don’t forget your little guests too.

Image Credits:

Flowergirl and page boy: SFGate
Jenga and picnic food: Magno Photography
Printable book: Lovely Indeed
I Spy: Martha Stewart Weddings