bucks or bust?

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Kez is a Young Newcastle Marriage Celebrant

I remember when I first saw The Hangover. It was two weeks before my (then) fiance's bucks night and I'll admit to having a few cringe moments and small panic attacks.



The thought did cross my mind that my soon-to-be husband could be corrupted by his mates into wild debaucherous dalliances with semi-clad women who were whispering naughty nothings in his ear.

Once I'd calmed down I rememebered I was not about to marry Hugh Heffner and that the boys were out to catch some fish and sink a few crownies. Nothing sinister in that at all. Unless of course, "fish" was code for "Strip Club" and "Crownies" for "Nudie Run".

The bucks or hens is supposed to celebrate the "end of singleness" and be a bonding experience for both the bride and groom with their friends. Traditionally, in the brides instance, I think it would have been a open place for a bride to discuss her "womanly duties" with older, wiser married women before the wedding. So, no nasty surpises on the wedding day/night.

Regardless the intent, it does seem to have become more about booze and babes (or booze and buns for the ladies) and rather than a night tearing the place apart wondering what your fiance is up to the simple rule is :

Trust

This is your future husband or wife. If you can't trust that regardless of the situatuion or location they will behave in a way that respects your feelings.... then this is an issue that goes about and beyond one night.

Talk

Sit down and set some ground rules in an open and honest discussion about what is and isn't ok. Use examples if you have too. If it's not ok for him to go to a strip club, tell him and tell him why but expect some resistance if you just say NO. Be prepared to compromise.

Be Reasonable

You can't ask for your partner to respect your feelings about the "denegration of women" and then head out on your hen's for a wild night with the ladettes at Aussie Chippendales. It's not tit for tat either, just because hubby sinks a few beers with mates on a massive pubcrawl til 4am doesn't make your high tea with the girls any less fun.

And of course, when you do head out on the big night:

• Remember the rules - many a night has quickly turned into a sour experience after rules have been broken and photos published on facebook
• Don't keep it a secret. If something happened that you know your partner won't like. Tell them honestly and tell them soon. The longer you leave it the more upset they will be when they do find out (and they always do). Sit down and share the night - tell them what happend and (hopefully) make them proud by sharing how you got out of that situatiuon as quickly as possible
• Most importantly HAVE FUN

What were the rules for your hens or bucks? Did something get out of hand? Share your stories here..