Bridal Stress Survival Kit

Stress and The Healthy Bride

(from The Healthy Bride Guide, Fit and Fabulous from this day forward) by Christi Masi

Stress—it’s the one thing no bride can hide from in preparing for her wedding day. So how are you going to cope and remain sane, calm and able to enjoy all of the showers, decisions, parties, workouts, decisions, plans, schedules, in-laws, family members, decisions, … phew, just thinking about all the pre-wedding activity makes me stressed out! You know that this process is going to be incredibly fun at times and your wedding is going to be one of the best times in your life. However, the road to wedded bliss will most assuredly be paved with bumps, and will certainly create some stress not only for you, but also for your fiancé and your family.

Our goal in this article is to learn how to smooth out those bumps as much as possible. Let’s face it, we’ve all seen some brides who have turned their bumps into mountains, and they’re still recovering from all the drama. But I don’t want this to happen to you/ I want you to be able to cope through any and all bumps and come out at other end of that road relaxed, rested, and able to enjoy your wedding day.

Before we begin our stress busting, let’s see how stressed out you are already.

Bridal Stress Test:

For all the following questions, please answer with Yes or No, True or False:

1. I am getting plenty of sleep and I am sleeping well. [Yes / No]
2. I am eating enough and not too much, and what I am eating are mostly the right things. [Yes / No]
3. I do not find myself ruminating on topics that are bothering me. [True / False]
4. I am able to make decisions and feel good about them. [Yes / No]
5. My family is supportive and helpful when it comes to my wedding. [Yes / No]
6. My friends and bridesmaids are supportive and helpful when it comes to my wedding. [Yes / No]
7. My fiancé is sharing in our wedding planning process. [Yes / No]
8. I have time to do most of the things I want to do for my wedding and for myself right now. [Yes / No]
9. My wedding planning is not adversely affecting my job or my friendships. [True / False]
10. I feel good about how my wedding day is going to turn out. [Yes / No]

The results:

If you answered No or False to 3 or fewer questions: You are doing quite well, and there’s no need to worry, at least for right now.

If you answered No or False to 3 to 6 questions: You are moving toward being fairly stressed and probably want to re-evaluate how you are managing things.

If you answered No or False to 7 or10 questions: We need to talk! Things could be going a lot better for you. Keep reading this section now; you really need to de-stress! .

If you are not feeling stressed at the moment, that is great. Keep checking in with yourself, or come back and take this test from time to time, perhaps one time per month, leading up to the month of your wedding, and then one time per week the month of your wedding. The first key to coping with your stress is recognizing that you are stressed and to what degree.

For those of you who scored higher than a 3 on the test above, help is on the way! There’s a large number of ways to release stress, and what I’ve presented here is more of a smorgasbord than a set menu. I suggest reading through all the activities here and then select those that you think will work best for you. Remember, the higher your score was on this test, the more de-stressing you probably require.

“When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, an hundred.”
–Thomas Jefferson

Create a Stress Survival Kit

I heard a story recently about a bride who was so upset with her maid of honor for being 10 minutes late to the rehearsal dinner; she “fired” her right then and there in front of everyone. The truth was that the Maid-of-honor had been downstairs setting up a slideshow she had made of the bride and her fiancé to show later that night. Had this bride counted to ten, and asked her maid-of-honor for a reason she was late, there would have been a lot less stress for everyone.

It’s so easy to get wound up over a small thing that bothers us and then forget or lose sight of the bigger picture. And these are the sort things one never forgets. Will that bride ever forget firing her Maid of honor? I’m sure the memory will be with her forever, and it’s not exactly one she’ll want to keep.

How do you deal with your stress when this is one of the biggest moments of your life? There is a lot of pressure on you when planning and having your wedding. No question about it. It’s how you deal with the stress that counts. One of my favorite sayings is, “it’s not what happens to you in life that matters, it’s how you deal with what happens to you in life that really counts.”

Take some time out and think of something that makes you feel happy, calm, and centered. Later, when you are at the point of “losing it,” you will have this other place to go to. So, let’s call this calming touchstone your “Bridal Stress Survival Kit.” It should be easy to memorize or something you can carry with you. It might be something concrete, such as a certain phrase, poem, picture, or letter; an activity, such as simply taking a deep breath or a routine (simple yoga or a hard workout); or something intangible, like a smell or a memory from another time.

Determine what your Survival Kit will look like and how to keep it with you for easy reminding, and then put it together and keep it with you. When you feel yourself getting stressed, all you need to do is to “pull out your Kit” and use it. You may have to excuse yourself from some situations (even public situations) for a few minutes, and that is perfectly fine. Do what you need to do in order to manage over the rough spots so that you can keep your wedding planning process at all times a fun event.

Below is our “top ten”recommendations for sailing through this whole process of getting married business. We want to arm you with a few tools (some you can hopefully use in your Stress Survival Kit):

1. Exercise: This is helpful in relieving stress (ever been to a kick-boxing class?), improving your immune system, helping you sleep well, and can be meditative. Exercise also is shown to help people feel better about themselves and others.

2. Find a confidante you can trust: This should be someone who will tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear. You need to be able to keep your mind open, and know that not everything this person tells you is going to be easy to hear.

3. Recognize that there are some things that you cannot change: Accept them for what they are. For example, you’re going to have to accept that that inconsiderate uncle of yours who tells off-color jokes is not going to change for your wedding.

4. Be prepared to compromise: You are the bride, and it is your wedding, but there are going to be things that you will need to compromise on. Choose your battles carefully, and make sure the ones you choose to fight or choose to back off from are ones could really make a difference in how you remember your wedding.

5. Look for the good in situations instead of the bad.

6. Learn to say no to yourself and others’ wishes: don’t promise too much: Give yourself enough time to get things done or delegate to those you trust (and then let go).

7. Laugh: You probably know that laughing can release stress, but you may need to be reminded to do it more often! Looking at things from a humorous perspective can help you “re-frame” the issue and see a new solution.

8. Get plenty of sleep: Life always looks different when you are rested. Your body needs time to renew itself, especially when it’s under tremendous pressure.

9. Set aside time for relaxation: Take a few hours for a walk in a place you love; get a massage, a facial, or a manicure. Such activities all feel good and help you renew.

10. Have fun: This is the best coping strategy of all. Have fun, enjoy, laugh, and create great memories.

Tags: bridal stress, coping with wedding stress, healthy bride guide, healthy bride stress survival, stress free bride, stress free wedding, surviving bridal stress, wedding stress
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Lack of sleep increases overeating
Monday, August 3rd, 2009

When you are getting married, it’s hard enough to find time get the to-do lists checked off, attend all the functions, showers and bachelorette parties, organize the seating charts and complete the programs……getting 8 hours of sleep a night becomes next to impossible. Have said that, it’s one of the best things you can do for your body in order to feel great on your wedding day - and before.

Researchers from several separate studies(1) have found a link between sleep and the hormones that influence eating behavior. Two specific hormones are involved. Ghrelin is responsible for feelings of hunger. Leptin tells the brain when it’s time to stop. When you’re sleep deprived, your ghrelin levels increase at the same time that your leptin levels decrease. The result is an increased craving for food and not feeling full. Add the fact that sleep deprived people tend to chose different foods to snack on—mainly high calorie sweets and salty and starchy foods—and it’s easy to see how these small changes can lead to long-term weight gain.

In a study of 1,024 people aged 30-60, Body Mass Index (BMI) levels were recorded(2). Those who slept only three hours a night had a 5% increase in body weight over 15 years. Researchers say that the number may well be an underestimate of the real life impact.

Optimal sleep for (wedding) weight loss
Most people need between seven and nine hours of sleep a night.! Some more, some less. Very few of us actually get the minimum of seven. How do you know how much sleep you really need? Experts say to sleep as long as you want for several days (best done on vacation). Then, your sleep should stabilize and you’ll find yourself waking up after the same number of hours daily, within 15 minutes or so. Once you know about how much sleep you need, start getting into a steady routine. Set a regular time for sleep. Start getting ready ahead of time. And experts say, avoid using the bed for watching TV or doing work.

Sleep + exercise + a healthy diet = weight loss
Don’t think snoozing a few hours longer each night will solve a weight problem. It won’t. Exercising and eating healthfully is still the way to go. But, lack of sleep may soon be considered another risk factor for obesity. Especially since 65 percent of Americans are overweight and 63 percent of people don’t get eight hours of sleep a night. Interestingly, many of those who are overweight also don’t sleep enough.

One thing does seem to be clear. When your body is not hungry for sleep, it won’t be so hungry for unhealthy food either.

1. Van Cauter, E. Annals of Internal Medicine, Dec. 7, 2004; vol 141: pp 846-850
Flier, J. Annals of Internal Medicine, Dec. 7, 2004; vol 141: pp 885-886
2. Tahari, S. Public Library of Science, Dec. 6, 2004

Tags: healthy sleep, lack of sleep, sleep and obesity, sleep and overeating, sleep and weight loss, sleep for brides, sleep for brides and weddings, sleeping bride, wedding weight loss