Before the Wedding Bells: Real Questions to Ask About Your Relationship

Wedding planning can quickly become an all-encompassing endeavor. You've agreed to marry each other, so you obviously both believe in commitment, but there are other values the two of you will want to discuss before the big day. 

Careers
You may admire each other's work ethic and ambition, but as married people and prospective co-parents, it is important to establish career boundaries. If one or both of you are rooted solidly in your geographical area, you should discuss job mobility. Ask yourself, and each other, under what conditions it would be a realistic option to move for a job change or promotion. Perhaps a hike in income would make it worthwhile, while road warriors may not require a big investment. It's also important to consider your partner's job prospects. 

Money 
Although a sometimes a taboo subject, it's important to delve into your individual financial backgrounds. Divorce lawyers at places like the Lazaro Carvajal firm say money and debt is one of the biggest reasons they see for divorce. This includes student loan and credit card debts, as well as assets and income. You may be a saver and your husband or wife may be a spender. Before the big day, have an honest conversation with each other asking hard questions, including whether or not you intend to help each other with existing individual debts and whether or not you intend to share paychecks, bonuses, windfalls, etc. You'll be grateful in the long run, if you arrive at a tentative agreement on these subjects before the big day. 

Children 
Make sure you address your plans to procreate, or not. Couples who do not discuss this matter until after the big day are in for potentially life-changing misalignment. Even as half of a couple, it should be within your rights to change your mind on a major life decision, but if you know now that you dream of a large family and your partner never intends to have children, you will want to decide now whether this gap is a deal-breaker. 

Spirituality and Religion
You may have had to broach the issue of spirituality while you were planning your ceremony. Even so, take some time to discuss the role religion will play in your daily life, if any. If you attend church weekly, but your partner is of another denomination or more spiritual than practicing, discuss with your partner your post-nuptial expectations for organized attendance, holidays, and child-rearing. 

Marriage is about compromise and the life-long process of getting to know your partner, but there when it comes to major subjects, take the time and guts to ask the serious questions now, before you tie the knot.