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Avoiding Wedding Disasters

The process of planning a wedding can often damage friendships, lead to arguments
with in-laws, shatter hopes and cause huge power struggles. When you are preparing
for your special day, don't forget what it's really all about.

Don't Give Others Too Much Power
Sometimes brides-to-be feel the need to please others to ensure that their special
day is a success. Often, giving in to the whims of family and friends can lead to
disaster. If you give someone enough power to ruin your day, isn't that your choice?
Remember that it's your day to shine.

Don't Become "Bridezilla"
If you're obsessing over every little tiny detail, thinking about it all day and having
nightmares about it at night, you can lose sight of what really matters. Focus on the
fact that it's a day about the two of you creating a bond and a union.

Learn to Ask for and Accept Help from Loved Ones
Don't be afraid to invite your closest friends and family to help with some of the planning. To allow others to be a part
of it can add to the joy of the occasion.

Don't Be a 'Money Bully' or the Victim of One
Mom and Dad may feel that since they're footing the bill for the ceremony, that they have a lot of say in the planning.
This can result in a power struggle if the bride-to-be has conflicting ideas. Work out your differences and come up
with a compromise.

Start with a Budget
The average cost of a wedding in America is $22,000. Come up with a budget for the wedding and do your best to stick
to it. It's important not to burden your union together by starting out completely broke or in debt.

Focus on the Bride
Upcoming nuptials can be a critical time, and sometimes misunderstandings arise when friends and family get too
emotional about the wedding planning process. When somebody's getting married, everybody needs to say, 'It's their
day, and if I need to step to the side and give them this day, then it's a gift that I'm going to give.'

View Your Wedding as a Rite of Passage
In societies and cultures throughout the world, weddings are not only celebrations, they also symbolize rites of
passage from childhood to adulthood. Simply, a rite of passage is a major turning point in life where we experience a
change in identity. It is a time of transition where the old way of life ceases to fit and the new life has not yet taken
hold.

Take a Break
Declare some days wedding free, where discussing the wedding is off limits. Go out and have some fun, decompress,
and remember why you fell in love with your partner to begin with. If you don't take some time off from the planning,
you may not even enjoy the big day once it gets there.

Have a Sense of Humor About It
Don't go into this with the expectation of perfection or you're guaranteed to be disappointed. Things may go wrong,
and probably will. Remember to laugh about it. These are the memories and stories you will tell your grandchildren
someday.

Most Important....Plan the Marriage
Don't forget that the wedding lasts one day, while the marriage lasts the rest of your life. Spend at least an equal
amount of time planning the union that you and your partner hope to have for years to come. Discuss religion,
children, careers, division of labor, in-laws and geography with your partner.