Hey Shelly, it's great that you reached out for help with this. I'm sure you'll get a lot of great advice, and that you're not the only one facing this challenge.
Right off the bat, it seems like you have the right 'headset', meaning that you're looking to resolve this issue positively and with collaboration. Holding a good intention- things will work out- is critical since 70% of all communication is non-verbal!
Assuming you're working directly with the designer, if I were you, I'd get curious. Where most of us fail is by assuming we know what happened or know what someone else experienced. You know, the old adage about assuming!
Ask the designer for a debriefing session where together you can review the last three weddings. You'll want to ask him/her :
=what he thought went well
-what he wished went differently
=what he learned for next time
Then you can share your answers to the same questions. This is usually pretty helpful because it allows you to understand what might have gone wrong, and gently emphasize what you'd like to see for the next wedding. Remember, this is a learning conversation, not a scolding. You're looking to deepen your working relationship.
If you want to be proactive for this bride, you might say to him something like:
I appreciate you as a talented colleague and would really like to have your help with this bride. I'm concerned that _______[insert your concern framed kindly], what can we do to make sure this wedding is absolutely perfect?
If you're giving feedback, i.e. what not to do, please be specific as possible. Saying 'be more organized' is not as helpful or result-oriented as 'it will be important for me to have a detailed timeline- including who, what and when- by 5 p.m next Friday. How does that work for you?
It's tough to give more detailed advice w/o knowing the details, but I hope this helps. I'd be happy to have a brief chat, if that make sense for you. Just email me.
Comment by Shelly Stone on October 14, 2009 at 9:56am
Hi everyone. With all of the professionals here, I thought I'd start here with a question. I'm working on an internship right now and have a dilemna. I have a floral designer who has had a slippage in performance over the last 3 weddings he's worked on. I can't afford any mistakes with this wedding and need to get that across to him. What do I do without concerning the bride? Thank you.
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