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To speak or Not to Speak

Last night I coordinated a wedding upstairs in a restaurant. I started working with my client a few months ago and she was an absolute pleasure to work with. At her wedding last night, the restaurant took the guests orders at approx. 7:15p.m. at 8:30 p.m. I went to ask the banquet coordinator where the food was she told me it was coming right out. (On a side note, I have had the cold shoulder from this particular individual since I introduced myself in the beginning of this whole process.) The servers, who were very nice, served the bride and groom and a few of the tables. About 15-20 minutes passed, bride and groom were done eating and 3 tables still were not served. The bride asked me to have them put dessert out right away so they could get out and start dancing. So, they did. Many of the guests were sitting with dirty plate in front of them while they ate. I started to clear the tables and the banquet coordinator came up to me and took the plate out of my hands and state:" You don't need to do that!"-very rudely! I said I was trying to take away dirty dishes (from the bride and groom's table!!!) while the guests ate dessert. I had specifically asked how many waitstaff would be on and she stated in a meeting that there would be 5 including a bartender. She assured me that this would be enough for 11 tables 100 guests. Meanwhile, the upstairs loft was left with dirty dishes and glasses. A few of my friends told me I should contact the manager of the restaurant and state my concerns. (I also, went into the bathroom cleaned the trash off the floor and had to ask for more napkins for the bathroom. )

What should I do, contact them or move forward and NOT recommend this place? Thanks!

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Permalink Reply by Stephanie Benedetto Padovani on October 26, 2010 at 9:23am

Holy cow! I'm so sorry you had to deal with this drama, Melinda. Sounds like you were just trying to do your job and keep the couple happy.

Do you want to work at this restaurant again? If so, I wouldn't contact the management. It's likely to stir things up. It will be a "your word against hers" situation. Unfortunately, many venues are already biased against planners because they see you as intruding on their turf. Reporting the situation probably won't solve the issue and they'll only blame you as a meddler.

On the other hand, if you really believe that the restaurant manager really doesn't know about the rude behavior of the banquet coordinator, you might actually be helping him/her out by delivering the information. But you'll still probably be viewed as a snitch.

My vote is for just moving ahead and not recommending the establishment. That banquet coordinator is going to get what's coming to her sooner or later, with or without your help. By keeping your mouth shut, you won't be associated with that ugliness.

I try to abide by that saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." When someone asks you about the restaurant, your silence will speak volumes!

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Permalink Reply by Melinda Madruga on October 26, 2010 at 12:17pm

Hi Stephanie!
Thanks for the advice. Very well said. I agree with you. Now this is a new twist in this situation. I got a message from the the bride that people got food poisoning! So, now, I am not sure what to do!? I was thinking of just letting this all go, but I think my bride wants to deal with this issue. Ugh! I have never dealt with a food poisoning issue!

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Permalink Reply by Stephanie Benedetto Padovani on October 26, 2010 at 7:26pm

The plot thickens! Food poisoning is horrible. I've eaten enough wedding food to know that it happens on a regular basis...which is why I usually don't eat at events anymore.

In fairness to the restaurant, it's not necessarily a hygiene issue that can cause food poisoning; it could even be a stomach virus. It could have been caused by contaminated lettuce (rinsing doesn't wash off bacteria) or a virus someone in the restaurant contracted.

I'll share a story of a local caterer we know. He catered a wedding one weekend and a large number of guests came down with severe vomiting and stomach distress. The department of health was called and it turned into a nightmare.

After their investigation, the D of H determined that the "food poisoning" was actually a virus let loose in the building by the group of nursing home residents who'd had a luncheon the day before.

If the bride is really concerned, she can call the health department and they'll investigate. But I'd still stay out of it, if I were you. Do you really want to get known as the whistle blower? Other facilities might not be as inclined to work with you and gossip spreads like wildfire.

By all means, support your bride. Did she specifically say she wants to deal with it? Did she say how she'd like to do this? Just get clear with her on exactly what will happen. I'd definitely talk to the restaurant first and frame it as, "My bride was very upset that many of her guests had food poisoning. Is there anything you can do?" rather than going into fight mode right away.

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Permalink Reply by Pomela on October 31, 2010 at 11:35am

Before anything else you need to look over all the paperwork from the resturant, If this not a set menu this will happen all the time, reading this could have been a wedding I got an email on a few days back from a bride But as far as the dishes still there that is just plain wrong, On this one it is hard for me to really answer with out all the facts on this, as to how many waiters were paid? Set Menu? As far as the illness part, Did the guests go to an ER? If so then they had to have said where they were,,, I know what the site told on the 5 plus bartentender, it really should be that of 8 for a party this siz. but What was in the paper work,