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I would consider offering workshops on how to make save the date cards for starters. This is a smaller project than invitations. Perhaps when they see how expensive and time consuming it is and they will be able to make a judgement call that best suits their budget. You could also sell the supplies for them to make their own invitations or offer a portion of your regular services to them that they might not be comfortable doing themselves. Knowledge is power for the brides.
As far as what brides will remember, it depends entirely upon the bride. As a Wedding Planner, I'm often amused when I hear people say, "No one cares about _____". What is important to one person might not be important to another. I stop people (usually a bride's family) in their tracks when I hear them say that. My most frequent question is, "But what do the BRIDE and GROOM want?"
It's also amusing that each type of wedding vendor thinks that they are always the one type of vendor that a bride first goes to when she begins her planning process!
At my wedding, friends helped me with some DIY projects. They offered, I did not have to ask. I am a DIY person and since they knew this, other DIY friends offered their assistance.
Depending on the materials used, DIY can be inexpensive. If the reception is done at a non-commercial location, you can bring in your own food and caterer.
I think that cake and punch should be brought back instead of full meals.This is what I did at my wedding and then my close relatives and friends were treated to a meal later.
Margaret, congratulations on your marriage. It's wonderful that friends offered to help you with your DIY projects. :)
However, I am so confused about what you did with some of your guests at your wedding.
Cookies and punch, in most parts of the country, has not been the sole refreshments at a wedding since the 1940s or early 1950s (and perhaps a decade or two later in other parts of the U.S.).
Today guests are expecting that they will be served something more substantial. And you obviously felt the same way since "close relatives and friends were treated to a meal later."
If those were the only people you wanted to or could afford to treat to a meal, why did you invite anyone else?
Consider this - how would you feel if someone invited you over for dessert and when you arrived you discovered that other guests had been invited over for dinner as well? Wouldn't you be embarrassed, hurt and insulted?
I certainly can understand budget restrictions and having to limit a guest list, but to treat some guests as "more special" than others is insulting.
People make a great effort to come to someone's wedding. They take time out of their lives, they dress up in special attire (or perhaps even buy a new outfit), and they usually bring a gift.
If someone wants to serve only punch and cookies, that's fine. But you should be very specific in the invitation that that's all anyone is going to get and time it so that the wedding is definitely in between meal times and leave it like that. Just make sure that some guests aren't given special treatment because word WILL get around.
If money is the main issue, you could host a breakfast reception with homemade (or store bought) pastries, muffins, rolls, fruit and beverages. Or invite guests over for beverages, sandwiches and cake for an afternoon wedding. Or limit your guest list. But to pick and choose certain guests for special treatment is extremely poor etiquette.
If I'm wrong and you did let all of your guests know in advance what you were serving before they arrived, I apologize.
I hope I haven't insulted you. It's just that I wanted to make sure that others reading your post didn't think that punch and cookies alone was going to be a universally-acceptable way to treat more guests than you could afford. You would do better to just limit your guest list.
Just my two cents for what they're worth.
I wish you and your husband much happiness.
Phyllis Cambria
WeddingPlansPlus.com
Co-author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Throwing a Great Party"
If people are complaining about the costs of weddings they need to be willing to go back to the way it was before everything became an extravagant affair. Your suggestion worked great for decades and it was nice to have a more intimate dinner afterwards even if the bride and groom weren't there! It was a great way for the families to get acquainted when everyone is more relaxed.
If a person really enjoys DIY projects it's great but if they are doing it just to save money and hate doing the project, it will only add stress to the planning process. I say that if they don't like sending out holiday cards, the they reconsider sending out Save-the-Dates or invitations. They would definitely be better off experimenting with Save-the-Dates first rather than invitations.
I've noticed a huge surge in the DIY movement in the last few years. With the economic crisis still fresh on brides minds, they're spending their money much more carefully than they were in years past.
I'm a stationery designer, and I specialize in graphic design services for do-it-yourself brides. I offer several different stationery packages as well as accessories & and give my clients the options of printing themselves.
This allows my client's the flexibility of having designer stationery at a DIY price. I also offer printing services, but for the most part, my brides choose to print on their own.
Jen
I totally agree that nowadays brides are on a budget! The best DIY planning tool is getting yourself a wedding website to help take care of details, not to mention how much fun it is to show your families and friends the cool stuff happening with you! I recommend iWedPress Wedding Website Networks because it was the easiest to make and it really helped me with my planning tools. My friends were so impressed at how amazing it turned out and you can plan all your details right here online for free!!! that's wha made it even cooler-
review their guest lists? but too difficult to cut a half
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