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Should i be disappointed?

Hey everyone! i have been on the site for a few weeks now but im not much of a blogger so this is my 1st post. I felt compelled to say something about my 2 proposals by my FH or lack there of in my eyes. Lets start with # 1.... this happened in November of last year. We were laying in bed talking and we started to dance around "marriage/children topic"...he decides to just blurt out... " i think we just need to go ahead & do it because we are not living right in gods eyes and we are going to end up in hell if we don't straighten this out". I agreed because we had been living together for a little over 2 years and were sexually active. So the wedding plans went from there....I didn't get an engagement ring from him due to financial strains so i just bought a cute 3 stone ring from Avon.

[# 2] yesterday evening [5/21/10] his sister text me and said they were having a celebration dinner @ buffalo wild wings in pearland because his niece graduated from kindergarten. I wasn't able to attended the graduation due to work so i was super excited to go, even stopped to get her a small cake. This particular BWW was also were my FH took me on our first date. When the waitress brought everyone's food out, instead of sitting mine down she put down a zales box. I was looking kinda of confused at that point. MY FH yells from across the table [mind you there are 8 people @ the table and im not sitting very close to him] "Will You Marry Me?".... i could barley hear him because of how loud it was in the restaurant so i said "HUH" as i was opening the box. He repeated his self a little louder and i said yes with a little smirk. he came around the table and i gave him and hug but inside i really wanted to cry. I was just disappointed about the way he did it. The thought & effort he put into getting everyone there & to have it @ the site was awesome. He is such a sensitive and kind person, i just expected a bit more of a personal proposal. My reaction really hurt his feelings and i feel bad about that but do my feelings not count in this either? Was i being ungrateful?
I was pretty much over it when i got up this morning but he is still really upset with me for being honest about how i felt. Which made me 2nd guess myself.. like maybe i should have just lied to him.

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Permalink Reply by Jolie Papeterie Boutique on July 12, 2010 at 1:04pm

Honestly I can understand where you're coming from. If you think about it, as young girls we all envision our perfect romantic proposal and a Barbie/Ken wedding and unfortunately they don't always turn out how we had planned.
My husband had planned a super romantic night out and it all went downhill and he ended up proposing to me in our junk filled office after I had fed my fish.
I was a bit disappointed by that too as our night out was perfect but it ended in a not so perfect way. My husband is also a wonderful sensitive and kind person but our engagement was less than perfect.
I'm sure he's a bit upset which is understandable in his eyes but maybe just explain your feelings to him and it's just not how you had pictured it. It's best to be honest about stuff like this, lying is never a good thing.
I'm sure he'll get over it and you guys can plan a wonderful wedding together!

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Permalink Reply by Caren Jeanty on July 13, 2010 at 8:14am

I agree, lying is not the answer, look at the situation as an opportunity as to how you both handle expectations. I would definitely talk to him and discuss the situation in a nice a way.

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Permalink Reply by Claudia Forward on July 13, 2010 at 11:44am

I can understand how you feel, and I agree with the first two comments. I am guessing that you don't want this feeling to be what you remember in years to come, i.e. about the way he proposed. Learn from it and explain why you were disappointed without devaluing him. An apology that acknowledges his feelings to me also goes a very long way - i.e. you are very sorry that your reaction disappointed him as that was not your intention....
Perhaps you could also propose to him, the way you would like it.
You love each other, and this why you want to spend the rest of your life together, don't lose sight of this, as this is one of the most exciting times of your life.

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Permalink Reply by diana brown on November 11, 2010 at 7:07am

dont every second guess being honest. Yes i know that you may feel bad because it wasnt the most romantic gesture that you envisioned. the fact that you told him how you felt, will definitely make him second guess the next romatic thing he has to do for you (like anniversay dinners perhaps)