How to deal with an indecisive bride?

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Permalink Reply by Kattia Gordon on June 15, 2010 at 11:53am

I am sure that you have done this already however, maybe narrow it down for her give her the pros of each choice and give her a deadline. Let her know that not choosing her colors is hindering progress, since it one of the most important decisions. Affirm her ability to chose and plan a beautiful wedding and remind her you will be there to tie up all the loose ends she simply needs to make a choice. I think the deadline should help.

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Permalink Reply by Merrylin Brichmann on June 15, 2010 at 12:09pm

if this discussion is focused from a florists point of view, then nevermind me and my 2cents ~ I thought it was a general discussion. Interesting how each florist has a creative answer. Hopefully all will be helpful. Have a great day!

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Permalink Reply by Chanele Rose Flowers/Styling on June 16, 2010 at 12:07am

Thanks for all your lovely suggestions, As we do decorations and flowers (cannot exactly source the flowers until about 1-2 weeks before) I was referring to the decorations, as in chair cover sashes & unusual centerpiece additions.. Photos were exchanged and agreed upon it was not until 1 month before the Wedding date that I was informed of the changed theme.. It's just my fault I guess for being too organized - Maybe I should have asked for more of a deposit upfront or started purchasing a little later! Or do you think we should have something written up in a contract- Or is that a little tacky??

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Permalink Reply by Mary Ann Overbaugh on June 22, 2010 at 7:00am

This is another possible strategy if you have already presented the pros and cons...I have used this before. Present two so-so ideas, or two of her ideas, and discuss them in detail. If she goes logical, you supply emotional, if she is emotional you provide logic. During this time she will probably find things she likes or dislikes which make both ideas look bad (too expensive, not feasible, etc) or just "so-so" solutions. Look pensive and with expression, present your real idea which will seem like a perfect solution. Meanwhile, she will have eliminated the bad ideas and will let go of them without having become entrenched in pursuing them.
The idea is to get the bride to work to the solution that makes sense, and that she feels comfortable about. It would be best to have a vision session, develop criteria to judge decisions by (is it in keeping with the theme; does it fit the budget; is it a nice to have dream?) but don't make the decision...I think that would build resentment. If she is stuck...just help by being supportive of her in coming to conclusions so she will feel her decisions are well-thought out.

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Permalink Reply by Sharise Williams on June 23, 2010 at 10:09am

I have a similar bride. She is a worrier which makes her indecisive. I make a point to advise her to not sweat the small stuff and that she cannnot make everyone happy.

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Permalink Reply by Bartina J. Houk on June 29, 2010 at 8:17am

My advice is weather the storm. Since they have probably not been in this position before they have no idea how "normal" people do it. Every time we have had a "more than difficult" bride in the end they are the ones who rave over what we have done for them.

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Permalink Reply by Brian Cesario on July 13, 2010 at 2:11am

I agree with Glen. Time limits work wonders. I have a line in my contract that specifies that, if the client does not indicate which photos they want me to take (I give them a checklist that they complete and return to me by the day of the wedding), then I will be forced to take my best guess. Not sure what your work agreement looks like, but you may want to add a similar spiel stating that a bride's failure to make a decision automatically grants you authority to make said decision. Obviously, this is very much a last resort, but the show must go on, right?!

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Permalink Reply by Destination Weddings on July 14, 2010 at 1:01pm

Hello,
I have had brides who also can't seem to make up their minds.
In my case album design.

As a professional designer - design the wedding for her, first find out what her taste is!
Ask her two submit couple of her favorite images, from magazines or websites and then go from there.
Have her do some of the work.

Also I only give my client two choices, it's much easier to choose from A and B than 30 other options.

All the best,
Gina

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Permalink Reply by Lilah Paper on July 27, 2010 at 5:41am

I agree with many of the comments here. Limit the amount of choices to two or three and help her to pick, based on her likes and dislikes of each one. Also, as mentioned, timing is everything when orchestrating all of the elements of a wedding, and time is money! So, when I have an indecisive bride who cannot make up her mind or goes back and forth way too much, then I have to kindly let her know that anything can be done and I want her to be thrilled with what she orders, but decisions must be made, or else rush orders will apply, which means a higher price tag... and no one wants to spend more money! Sometimes that is just the little push that they need to get the decision made :)

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Permalink Reply by Joyce Perlman on July 27, 2010 at 5:43am

Know your clientele. It is best to work with clients that love your work and can make a decision.

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Permalink Reply by High Society Event Planning on July 27, 2010 at 6:04am

Our industry can be difficult because it can be fueled by emotion a lot of the time. I know that I personally pride myself on trying to develop an authentic friendship with my brides but this can make for blurred lines when you come across a difficult or indecisive bride. While we all want to maintain professionalism and truly service our brides to the best of our abilities, there comes a point when you have to set boundaries. Allowing a bride to remain indecisive can lead to countless hours of extra work that you did not sign up for and are not being compensated for. At the end of the day this is our business and one difficult bride can not only cost us money and time but can pull focus from our other brides that deserve time and dedication as well. I would rather walk away from one difficult bride than have her issues infiltrate my entire business flow and affect my other valued clients.

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Permalink Reply by Laverne Berry on July 28, 2010 at 5:22am

When dealing with indecisive people in general you have to #1 present VERY FEW options, #2 give them deadlines on decision making and #3 Make some decisions for them, but allow them to see why that decisioin will be best. If you come across as unsure or leave any room for more options they will continue to be indecisive. Some indecisive people just need to know why one option is the best out of all the other options. You will have to maintain some level of control (because these type of people are unsure of their judgement when it comes to decision making) without coming across as pushy, as well as not allowing them to get you caught up in their tangled web of "indecisive madness." :-)

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