I think it is important to still send the invitation to your out of town guests and family no matter what. Let them know though, maybe with a simple handwritten note that you understand it will be hard for them to attend, but you are excited that you will get to see them on your wedding day. I think most brides need to understand that if their friends could make it, they would and there are times where it just can't work for that weekend or that time frame. So be understanding, and let your friends know you were thinking of them, you wished that they could join you but you understand why they can't.
There aren't necessarily rules, however, during the wedding planning process, it is customary for the bride & groom to have a "schedule of events" available for those guests able to participate. The nice thing about the computer-age is that you can email this schedule - use "evite" or a similar program, so that you can get rsvp information and be able to coordinate who will be attending.
I am blogging about these issue for a post for the end of the week. It came up bc I was asked by a friend if she has to attend an out of town shower. I agree, there are no rules...that is the basis of my post, but there are definately some brides who expect their friends to attend everything. The economy is tight, people cant afford to fly all over the country and brides need to understand that...
I do not believe there are "rules" per se for attending out of town events, showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties. I think people are going to attend what they want to attend, and geography is not going to be a factor if there is a strong relationship/family bond.
